Dealing with loss (Goodbye Madam Calico Cat)
It did not matter whether your dearest was a person or a pet friend, their passing always strikes a blow in your heart. Loosing them creates a hole in your life and it takes some time before you let it go and get your life moving again. Such grieving is normal I suppose. You poured out your heart but only to be wrenched out like a dentist pulling out your teeth!
Still, a remembrance is good for the healing process. Today I met a friend who had lost his pet dog many years ago and he felt the heartache then too. It was the routine that you used to do and expected when a loved pet was around but now was no longer there. Half expecting your pet to greet you when you returned home or when you woke up in the morning. He could empathised how I felt right now.
The habits that you did when your little friend was around, you still habitually did it when they were no longer there. You tend to look at her usual locations and did not find her there and then it hits you again that she was gone for good. Then a wave of emotion would sweep you as you reminded yourself of the little things and routine that you did when she was around.
Coming home and waking up not seeing her around was just not the same. And the little irritating but amusing things that cats do like blocking your way and craving for your attention, you just missed those antics when they had moved on.
As all passing, whether be it human or friendly pet, it would take some time to get over it. Life goes on. Life is like that. Before other worries and cares of the world took up your focus once again. For now, we remember them and grieved over them with our sorrow.
Strangely when I came back from the veterinary hospital after settling the finer details of her passing, I could whiffed the smell of her kennel a few times in my bedroom. I thought it strange as it was the same exact smell where she stayed in her cage in the animal hospital for her recovery. I checked the laundry basket where I’d dumped my clothes worn during my final visit but could not find that matching smell. It was just like the same situation when my late brother-in-law passed away many years back and there was that sweet aroma in the room when I was writing my blog. But in this instance, a kennel smell which had an animal stench to it, which I remembered. Well I would like to think of it as a visit by my little friend to tell me that she has come to say goodbye and was moving on. Anything is possible with God I suppose even if we doubt it!
Amongst my many cats, I think she was the best. She was very demure, ladylike. She did not meow much but indicated her request through her body language. And even if she did meow, it was soft and gentle like a lady. The most astounding way whenever she wanted her meal, she would just looked at you and walked over to her food dish and sat there. And she would turn her head to peep at you to see whether you responded or not. If you still didn't get the hint, then and and only then would she give a short meow. Most of the time we would know what she's telling us and we would served her cat food into her dish.
She was also a very patient cat. If I came home and had many items to unload from my car, she would wait for me to finish first before asking for her food with her silent routine or would indicate that she wants a rub down pat!
Of course cats are a very social beast and they always liked your company. In whatever you do whether you were watching your TV or me going for a round practicing my piano, she would hang around. Because I forbid her to enter the house due to her excessive fur shedding, she would stare into the house often and I figured that was one of her ambition, to be able to live inside the house. Even though I didn’t allowed her in, she still did sneak in several times when we were not looking!
It’s nice to reminiscence about her and to have shared a fuzzy companionship for these many years. I would sorely missed them. Goodbye my dear little companion friend, Madam Calico Cat.
To my faithful friend, Madam Calico Cat
My Dear Lady Calico Cat
Her first appearance - Calico Cat